I WIN!

Hello gang,

Sorry I’ve been away for so long.  We all have those times where life is busy and hectic and before we know it, two months have up and gone by.  But I’m here now and that is all that really matters!  I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to their 2012!  It has been quite an eye opener for me!  Some great things have manifested within my heart and I can’t wait to share them with you!

Learning of the death of someone who painfully affected my childhood has made me see things so differently.  I have strived to have that sense of power and control, for happiness and fulfillment for so long.  When I thought I had it, something would happen and I would be sadly shown that I was wrong.  But now, I can really feel it inside me.  I know that it is not  at full force, but I can physically feel something is there and it’s growing.  Although I still sense doubt at times within my soul about what I can and what I can’t do, I am starting to feel empowered, thinking, I just might be able to do.  I outlived someone who has never really left my thoughts or my nightmares, who I thought would be there to haunt me until the day I died.  But no.  I beat him!  I beat him! I beat him!

My  self-doubt has in a way been my comfort zone.  When something scares me, I can so easily retreat back within myself, locking me up good and tight until the coast seems clear enough for me to reach out ever so slowly and let me toes test the water again.  Who wants to live like that? That’s not a way to live your life.  I know this, but as we all have felt in the past, knowing and doing are two completely different things.  I know that I need to love myself.  I know that I need to not eat that piece of chocolate.  I know that I need to be healthy, work out and be active.  I know all of this. 

The biggest A-Ha moment for me this year so far is that I paint myself with the wrong brush.  Two brushes to be exact.   This was something that came up when my mother and I were having a chat. And it is so true!  It clicked as soon as she said it.  When it comes to my career and getting to be where I deserve, going for what I want and taking risks, I’ll do it.  No holds barred.  I work hard, I have been given some wonderful opportunities lately and I am grateful for them.  I know that I can do an amazing job and I will do whatever it takes to get in the position I want.  My brush is strong, fierce  and paints beautiful colors from top to bottom of the person I am when I step into the doors of my office.   When it comes to my personal life? I must have unconsciously put away that strong handled, assertive brush with all the pretty colors and replace it for a soft, flimsy, old tired brush with nothing but blacks and whites to paint myself in.  Why can’t I use the same vibrant colors in my work life in my personal life? It’s like I’m two different people.  Well, it’s simple.  I didn’t love myself.  I tried so hard, I really did.  But I still carried around the shame and disgust with myself that I did when I was 8 years old.  Even after forgiving him for what he did, I still held on to the blame that a child puts on themselves when they are violated.  When I heard the news that this man had died, I literally felt an enormous weight life off my shoulders.  It felt like I was holding my breath, gasping for air and all of a sudden I could breath in the most luxurious breathe of my life.  That breath changed my thinking almost instantly.

 We all have read books written by some amazing people  and heard Oprah talk about loving yourself.  We all are quick to think, ‘Do I love me?’ only to answer with an easy, off the shoulder, ‘Of course I do’.  But do you really?  Do you really love yourself through your successes and failures?  It can be tough can’t it?  At least it was me.  Now, I am loving all of the gorgeous colors I’m seeing.  Even some colors I have never seen before are appearing, and its fabulous!!

Too much time has passed where I have let others interfere with my journey.  I want to be more than happy.  Happy isn’t even good enough.  I want to be satisfied.  I want to feel satisfaction and fulfillment when I look at myself in the mirror!  The days of cursing myself out while I looked at my reflection in the mirror are gone.  I know I deserve more and now I really feel like it’s happening.  It’s been a struggle and I still am on my journey but I am so pleased that I have this chance to pick up and keep right on going!  I’m very lucky.

My wonderful and amazing friend Sabrina who happens to be one of my oldest friends, wants us to do a 5K walk/run.  At first, I instinctively was against it.  Remember, running the other way in the face of fear…right here, that’s was me!! But after I relaxed myself and really thought about it, I think that this is something I could really do.  Obviously I would walk it.  I am so far from being healthy that walking would be my only option.  But, who cares.  At least I would do it right?  I think I just might say YES!

I recently watch an episode of Oprah’s Next Chapter where she was with Tony Robbins.  One of the segments was Tony and his entire audience, walking over to a parking lot to do a fire walk over some red hot coals.  Crazy right?  Yah, but absolutely amazing!!  Of course our Lady O did it and I can only imagine the freedom she felt when she did it!  I have now added Fire Walking to my Bucket List! 

…..fire walking is a metaphor for overcoming fear.  Tweeted to me be Oprah herself.  LOL I was tickled pink, let me tell you!!

On to new and brighter things my friends!  I hope you will join me on truly living a life that portrays the authentic you!  We can do this together.  Sometimes it’s just knowing that others are there to steady you when you wobble that makes all the difference in the world.  If you need it, I can be that person for you.  We know it’s never easy, what fun would that be? Achieving peace and finally reaching the true you inside is the journey.  Along the way there are hurdles big and small, scary obstacles and maybe a treacherous path but with each battle you win, you gain another ounce of strength to keep moving you forward.  Let’s do this! 

Until we meet again, do something with me.  Instead of automatically jumping to the negative in whatever situation you are faced with.  Stop, breathe.  And before going down the dark path, just think of the positive light that could come of it.  You just never know!

Thanks guys and gals,

Take it easy!

Misty

xo

Hello 2012

Happy New Year to one and all.  I wish everyone an amazing 2012 full of joy and realized dreams!!!

I know many of us have sat and pondered over another year that has yet again flown by.  We have reached some goals and even made some strides in our lives to be successful and truly happy.  We also have had heartbreak, let downs and disappointments. 

For me, last year most definitely had its ups and downs.  I had some great accomplishments, learned more about myself, let myself down, broke promises that I made to myself and laughed and cried along the way.  I had some career wins that are about to open up some new doors for me.  I was able to watch my beautiful niece grow up another year, watching her experience new things, see how incredibly intelligent she is for such a little girl and build the bond with her that I moved back here to build.

Once we reflect on the year behind us, we can then focus on the year ahead.  We have another 365 days to make things happen, be happy and do the things in life that we have want to do. 
I know the areas where I succeeded and failed in.  I know what worked, what didn't and what deserves another shot.  It's all about second chances, knowing where you can test the waters again on something perhaps or going back to the drawing board to start over. 

My hope is that 2012 will be a year that gives me more joy and happiness then grief and disappointment.  Sadly, no one comes with a manual written about their life.  So we are put to the test.  We are challenged everyday with making the right choice, going here and there.  Hoping that the decisions we make will guide us to the outcome we desire. 

I've already made some decisions for the year ahead.  I have started to lay down a path to new roads and of course new obstacles that I will have to hurdle over to get to the path that I want to take.  I am up for the challenge.  I am excited to take on a new journey.  I think when areas of your life become clear, that allows some of the fogginess to lift and you can see just a little bit farther down the line.  You obviously can't see the whole road, but little by little, things make sense and with each clear step you take, it gives you solid footing.  That confidence and comfort helps you in the times where you may question yourself.  Do I go left or right?  Do I take a step back or do I keep going straight ahead?  You go on faith, believing that you are making the best choice for yourself in that moment.

There is always talk about New Years resolutions.  Some people make them, others don't feel the need to put any expectations on themselves.  I have usually been one to make a resolution and never stick to it.  Most years, it had to do with losing weight, getting healthy, being happy.  This year, I have resolved myself to this....

One can’t flourish and grow with negativity and hatred surrounding them. Time to stop accepting blame others put on me. I will not carry someone elses burdens on my shoulders, allowing it to overpower me. I will no longer accept the false judgements anymore. I will not accept the excuses of others’ lack of respect towards me. Because I deserve more! 

Time to kick some ass and start taking names.  Like my Lady O and Ms Maya say, 'When you know better, you do better'.  I do know better this year and I am going to strive to do better.  I am going to strive for greatness because I have that within me.  I have that strength inside of me.  The power of being a survivor is a magnificent thing and I don't want to squander that anymore.

So here is to 2012 being everything that we want it to be and more.  I wish you blessings and happiness!!!

Much love,

Misty
xo

Quotes

Do one thing you think you cannot do.  Fail at it.  Try again.  Do better the second time.  The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.  This is your moment.  Own it.  ~Oprah

I'm not sure about anyone else but I find a sense of comfort in quotes.  They inspire me.  They uplift me.  I find it soothing to my soul when I come across the words of others that reflect my own spirit.  Following in the footsteps of my Lady O, I have a quote book.  I went to the bookstore and picked up a journal and have started writing down all of my favourite quotes.  I have some poems and songs in there too that inspire me.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Storms make oak trees take root.  ~Proverb

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.  ~Maya Angelou

 I love how they make you think.  Sometimes, they make you want to be a better person.  To live a fuller life, a happier life.  Other times, they can hit a personal nerve that has you wiping a tear away but wanting to keep reading more.  So, on that note, I want top share more of what is inspiring me right now.  I would love to hear from you what quotes move you.  Share them with me!!

I don't think it's possible for people to hurt me anymore.  They are only giving me their observations, I am giving it meaning. 

Breathe.  Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.

I say the universe speaks to us, always first in whispers.  And a whisper in your life usually feels like 'Hmm, that's odd' or 'Hmm, that doesn't make any sense', or "Hmm, is that right'?  It's that subtle.  And if you don't pay attention to the whisper, it gets louder and louder and louder.  I say it's like getting thumped upside the head.  If you don't pay attention to that like getting a brick upside your head.  You don't pay attention to that, the brick wall falls down.  ~Oprah

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.  ~Nelson Mandella

We delight in the beauty in the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.  ~Maya Angelou

Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out.

When you want something you've never had you have to do something you've never done.

There is a crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in.  ~Leonard Cohen

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.  You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them.  ~Iyanla Vanzant

Enjoy these.  Just a few of my favs.  Hope one of them touches you the way they touch me.

Until next time ladies and gents....take it easy.

Misty
xo