Cough cough sniffle sniffle. I am still under the weather however feeling better today then yesterday. I came down with a nasty cold and cough a few days ago. My mom was here visiting me for a few days over the weekend and go figure, the day she leaves I get sick. And I'm not ashamed to admit, I asked her to come back and take care of me! You guys know what I'm talkin about. Moms just know how take make the sniffles better. She didn't come back mind you....no really I'm fine, the tears dried up last night.
With having this cold I haven't had much of an appetite which could be a good thing but at the same time I know I'm not getting enough nourishment. I was a little hungry today so I did alright with eating proper meals.
Now here comes the dilemma. Since feeling a bit better today, I thought about walking up to the Tim Hortons to grab a coffee, and no sooner did that thought come into my mind, so did the thought of getting a few donuts too. Before I go any further, let me just say that I didn't. Here is where the difficulty of being a food addict comes into play. When my mind gets wrapped around something like food there are times where it is hard to let it go. I have used food as my drug of choice for many years and its not something that I can easily get past. Its going to be hard, there will always be hurdles infront of me. instead of going to booze or drugs, I just always turned to food. I actually just read an article not too long ago that said there was a study being conducted which stated that foods high in fats, sugars and carbs can potentially give you the same response in the brain that we see from drugs like cocaine. This makes total sense to me because I can see how this can lead its way into compulsive over-eating. You need to keep eating to try to reach that ultimate 'high' again. Scary I know and some of you may totally disagree with this. That's fine, I just ask that you keep an open mind. The way many of us deal with stresses are different, much like the way we each deal with addictions are different.
In normal circumstances, getting a coffee and a donut are not a bad thing. I'm not about to deprive myself completely of the things I want, but ensuring that I can maintain control is also important. As I sat on the bed, contemplating, I told myself to be real. Could I really only get one donut? Would I be satisfied with just one? And sadly, I knew the answer. I knew that I couldn't buy just one so the best thing for me to do was not go at all. If I went in there with a different mind set, then I would have been ok. But on this particular morning it wasn't an option for me.
I wonder, is this going to be something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life? I think so. I think that I will learn as I go and my choices will become easier as I go along, however, like an addict, I will always have temptations and my job is to fight them and learn that I can overcome them.
I know that I am by no means alone in this battle. There are so many who struggle the same struggles when it comes to food. We all just have to learn what we can do to jump over the food hurdle. I just wish that it wasn't a cupcake looking back at me when I jump over it!
Because I scared myself a little this morning, I though I had better get my ass on the treadmill. I haven't been on all week on account of being sick. I stepped on today but couldn't last even a minute on account of coughing and hacking. I do feel on the rotten side that I haven't worked out all week but I know that I have a valid reason. This just makes me look forward to when I can again.....WHOA...did I just say that? I think I did. I think I am excited to climb back on the beast and give him a what for! Fingers crossed I can get back to my routine in a few days.
I'm just 1.5 lbs away from hitting my 20 pound weight loss mark. Hopefully will hit that soon and I will be sure to let everyone know!! I'm always looking for tips and healthy snack options. If any of you know of any and would like to share, please do so. I will share some of mine next time too!
Thanks guys for tuning in!
Misty
xo
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