I had big hopes for today. I had a job interview for an Analyst role but it just didn't go so well. This particular role ended up being way to technical and I didn't have any of the qualifications that was required. The hiring manager was great and took some time to give me some pointers and some advice on what types of things I need. There are some courses that I am looking into taking. Although it was a setback I need to stay positive. But I gotta be honest here, I did have a little melt down after the interview. I just got my hopes up.
As most people know about me I am quite emotional. Total emotional girl here! Sometimes the emotions take over before I realize it and the tears start rollin'. I just put so many expectations on myself and when it doesn't happen I feel that old monster of disappointment creep up on me again. It's almost like it's an old bad habit, hard to break free from it. I am in a good place, I feel great and really do have a bright outlook on what is to come. But for a few minutes, good ole disappointment in myself makes an appearance.
Why is that I wonder? Why does it seem to slip in there? Once I realize it's there, I kick it back out, but why or maybe how does it make its way in? My only answer to that is this. As much as living a healthy lifestyle and eating healthy and exercising is important, it's still a struggle. The physical aspect of the journey I am on is like jumping hurdles everyday. Well, the mental and emotional aspect plays a part as well. Just like I'm teaching myself to live that healthy lifestyle physically, emotionally and mentally I have to take care of myself too. It's no secret that I've dealt with some dark demons. Now comes the time where living a positive life is for both my inner and outer self. There may have been a time where I would retreat into the darkness and try to hide there for as long as I could, but that time has passed. I want to live the absolute best life I can. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to pretend that life is peachy. I am determined to find that happy life because I know that I truly and absolutely deserve it. I may still come across a few road bumps along the way but you know what? That's okay. I'm allowed to. I'm not following anyones rules here. I am making up my own rules as I go.
So, just because I didn't get this job today......I am choosing to look at it as 'No sweat' I am going to use this as another stepping stone to get me one step closer to where I am supposed to be.
I did use the frustration I felt to my advantage! When I came home from work I popped in one of my Biggest Loser workout DVD's and let it kick my ass. And I actually felt better after. You know, there might something to this exercising thing...LOL! Aside from getting out some tension, working out is letting me start to see changes in my body when it comes to clothes. I still can't see any changes looking into the mirror, but clothes don't lie. Not only was I able to wear a pair of dress pants today that I haven't been able to get over my ass since last year, a few ladies from my office made comments to me that the jeans I was wearing yesterday were too big for me! Really? Hahahaha Yay!!!! They said that the jeans were saggy in the bum. HA! How about that?!
Thanks for tuning in again boys and girls!! Keep smiling and stay on the positive track with me. I promise that it is worth it!! Doesn't it feel great?! Yah, I know!!
Misty
xo
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