Damaged Tools

I'm going to change things up a little for this post. Although, I firmly believe that my addiction of food and body image issues stem from what I want to talk about today.

I watched a repeat of Oprah yesterday. It was about twin sisters who were raped repeatedly over a number of years by their two older brothers and their father. It was enough to knock the wind out of you just listening to it. My heart broke for these 19 year old girls who had to endure such devastating treatment by the people in their lives that should have been their to protect them from any harm.

Child abuse takes on so many evil and dark faces it can be hard to recognize at times. It's been documented that a child is sexually abused every 13 seconds. Every 13 seconds!
As the protectors over these little ones, we need to step up and take a stand against this disgusting mistreatment of a child. We all need to open up our eyes and listen. Listen to that whisper because sometimes that's all it will take.
They are out there. And more often the not, these predators are known to their victims. They take the time to groom these children and make them feel safe, building a trusting relationship with. Then when the timing is right, they make their move.

I am a Survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a neighbour. From the ages of 8 to 11, I was groomed and then abused by a man whom I thought I could trust and who myself and my parents thought I would have been safe with.
Thankfully I have gotten amazing therapy and can understand why I do and how I feel. Being abused really does change the person you might have become. It veers you on a different course. When your innocence is ripped away from you, you have no choice but to go into survival mode. Granted survival mode at that moment isn't best, but you do what you think you have to just to make it through the day.

I have this analogy. When you are born, each and every one of us are given inner 'tools'. These 'tools' are there for us to build a healthy and productive life for ourselves. When a child is abused, whether it is emotionally, physically or sexually, these tools become damaged. Then when it comes time for a child to start building their life, they have no other option but to use these damaged tools. Your entire structure is unstable and it is only a matter of time, without the proper help, that the structure comes crashing down.

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different."

I had to forgive. Not for anyone but myself. Carrying around resentment in your heart does you no good whatsoever. Once I was able to accept my truth that there was or is nothing that could or can be done to change what happened to me, it opened up my eyes. And my heart. And so I find myself on this journey. If you have been reading any of my other posts you'll know that I have begun a weight loss journey. But that isn't the only thing I am trying to accomplish here. This is an all over body life style change, both on the outside and the inside.

My only ask to anyone who is reading this and may suspect something is this. Be attentive. Listen to that little tiny nagging feeling you may have about how a child is looking or acting. Be aware. Ask. Put yourself out there and let the child know you can listen to them.

If you yourself are currently suffering or have suffered from any type of abuse, just know that you are absolutely and 100% not alone. There are people who can help. You have endured and you are a Survivor. Welcome.

Misty
xo