Mad, cranky, pissy, annoyed, angry, frustrated, agitated. These are among the many emotions I felt this morning. Shocker here....I have an anger management problem. At least that's what my therapist says.
Today was a work from home day for me. I woke up feeling good. A little from working at my other job last night, but in general fine.
I opened up my laptop, went to log in to get to work and nothing working. I couldn't get logged in to any of my systems or applications. So frustrating......to top off I knew I had to call our support team for assistance. Two hours later, most issues were fixed but still have 2 that they had to escalate.
I know that whatever happens is completely out of my control. I know that I let things affect me way to easily!! Why is that? I think it has alot to do with feelings of helplessness and the powerful urge I have to be in control. When something doesn't go my way or the way I think it should go, I have a very hard time accepting that. I'm working on it and have made progress but obviously, I still have my moments.
When someone has felt so powerless and when control over their life was never really theirs (or maybe not so much not theirs but more like they didn't fight to keep it, it was just easier to give it away)when this happens and you begin to take back your control, it almost becomes an internal battle to ensure you never lose it again. Without realizing it, it can turn into an obsessive feeling so when the littlest thing occurs that doesn't fit into your plan.....BOOM!
Just breath. Seriously..... As you're breathing in and out slowly, think to yourself what it is exactly that you're upset about. Ask yourself what caused it and then talk yourself off that proverbial ledge. Once you are being rational and thinking clear, the anger goes away. The goal here is to get to a point where the anger doesn't even take over where I need to use and think. To get to a point where I can just let the little mishaps in life just roll off my shoulders and continue on. I will get there!!!
There are so many things to be grateful for. Little things, big things, unimportant things. No matter what they are, I am thankful.
Just yet another step on my journey. Always the adventure. And this is proving to be quite the adventure, filled with unexpected highs and lows. The most rewarding feeling is that I am doing this all on my own. I am not going to depend or expect anyone to do this for me because at the end of the day, although I have people who truly love me, I can really only count on myself to be happy. I feel like this time next year if I stay on course with my journey, big exciting changes could be upon me!!!
Thanks for tuning in kiddies!
Misty
xo
No comments:
Post a Comment