I'm almost at the end of another 7 day detox. It's been a strain at times but looking back over these last 6 days, I feel so good about it! It was all worth it. I'm down 6lbs this week. YAY me!! I did gain a few lbs over the last few weeks but am down those plus a few more. I am now just 4lbs away from hitting the 30lb mark. Feeling awesome about that!
My main thought of focus to give me the extra pushes this week was simple. Two words. A Baby. It's what I want more than anything else in the world. So I have one year. I am giving myself one year to be healthy and fit enough to be in a position to have a child. I'm coming up to my 34th birthday in about 3 weeks. By the time 35 rolls around I want to be ready. I am hopeful that the health issues I have experienced the last few years will have cleared up and will be moving in a positive direction instead of what is happening now. At the moment, I am not able to have children. I am infertile, dealing with what has been diagnosed as PCOD. Polycystic Ovarian Disease. The specialist I have been seeing says that it is completely reversable which gives me great hope that in the end I will be able to have my hearts desire. A child of my own. The first task at hand to get a handle on this is losing weight. Hence my main motivation. If I want a baby, I must must must lose weight. I have to take better care of myself. No way around it.
I'll continue to have my struggles, that's a given. However, struggling to eat properly and fighting with myself to get on my treadmill is nothing to the absolute pain and anguish I feel inside at not having a child. Utter physical pain. I may be ambiguous to most things outside of my own realm of understanding, but if there is one aspect of myself that I know to be truer then anything, truer then the sky is blue, it's that I would be a wonderful mother. I would be present and loving. I would be a teacher and a provider guiding through all of lifes challenges. I want this so bad.
If I am in a relationship with someone and the time came to have a child, I would welcome that with open arms. If I am single, I wouldn't think twice about it, wouldn't skip a beat while on my way to a fertility clinic. If having a child ends up being something that my body won't allow, adoption would be my other alternative. This is going to happen. I believe it. I have to! I have to make this my mantra. To say over and over to myself, something to repeat as much as I need it. Ready for it? My new mantra is Baby Mine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCgDgJsTR_w&feature=related
A tear jerker I know....I'm boo-hooing here too. But it's a gooder, you can't deny that!!
So my journey continues. Onward and upward. Baby Mine.
Thanks for tuning in!
Misty
xo
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The Power that is a Woman! WHOPIE!!!!
I was recently at a Power Of Women Conference here in Toronto. What an amazing experience. I have been to a few before and this one was yet another opportunity to be in one room with 4000 plus women. At times you could almost feel the pulsating actions of the room. Filled with laughter, tears and ultimately an incredible sense of fulfilment and uplifting motivation. I loved every minute of it!
The speakers were phenomenal!!! The MC of the day was Jessica Holmes who is absolutely filled with such an awesome comedic gift you can't help but laugh! She did impressions of Celine Dion and a Polish singing/rapper woman. She is from the Royal Canadian Air Farce. She is fabulous!!!
The first speaker of the day was Leigh Anne Tuohy. You know who she is. She is the woman Sandra Bullock played in the Blind Side. Her message to us was about giving back, and when you see a child or youth walking down the street, stop and help. He may be another Micheal Orr. Or she may be the person who grows up and finds a cure for cancer. You just never know. Don;t turn a blind eye to someone in need, It only takes a minute to extend out a hand to help them. She told us the Starfish story. About a grandpa walking down the beach with his young grandson. They notice the beach was filled with starfish that washed ashore. They would all surely die. The young boy rushes to them and begins to toss them one by one back into the ocean. The grandfather goes up to the boy and tells him to forget about it. He can't save them all. They have to go. With a starfish in his hand, the little boy looks up at his grandfather, looks at the starfish in his hand and with all his might, throws it as far as he could into the ocean. He said "I saved that one". Leigh Anne said that the power of one is strong. Turn around sometimes because you'd be amazed at the view from behind. What a great lady. My heart felt blessed to have had the chance to hear her speak.
The next speaker was Lorette LeRoche. HILARIOUS!!!!! I have heard her speak before so I already knew what I was in for! She is a stress management pro and speaks of just being happy. Be intent on being happy and when someone bogs you down with their own crap, look them in the eye and tell them to SHUT THE HELL UP!! I learned from her to wake up with gratitude. Loretta says when you wake up in the morning proudly and happily say I'm Back!! Thanks to her, I want to become the fun I am seeking! I felt such a sense of relaxation when she was speaking. I felt myself let go. I felt the tension in my muscles that I had been carrying around for the last few weeks release and I felt wonderful!! To breath in and out and feel refreshed and alive was something that I really and truly needed. I thought to myself, sitting their next to one of my good friends, that this was a place that both her and I needed to be. Talk about right place at the right time!
We also heard from Michelle Dunk and Jill Bolte-Taylor. Both women had jaw dropping stories and proved that they truly did have the Power of a Woman!!
We also heard from Amilya Antonetti. At first I wasn't sure what to think but what I took from her the most was the Power of NO and the fact that I lived my life in 'IF' mode quite often!! I know we have all done it. Said to yourselves If I had a different job I'd be happier. If I made more money I'd be better off. If I lost weight I would feel good about myself. Saying IF to myself all these years had just become second nature. The time for change is now and If just can't be in my vocabulary any longer. I'm sure it'll slip in every now and then but I will focus on being more conscious of what I'm telling myself. IF can't make me happy. Doing and Actions are going to make me happy.
We also were privileged enough to have Suzanne Somers and ELLEN!!! They were both great. Suzanne spoke of aging beautifully and how to get there. She is a gorgeous woman. It was cool to see Crissy from Three's Company!!
Ellen's time on stage was a Q and A. I'm not sure who it was who was asking her the questions but it was awesome to hear her speak about where she came from and her journey on coming out. You can tell that she has an absolute loving and giving heart. She cares so much and it's obvious by anyone who listens to her speak. I was a little disappointed that she didn't dance but that's alright I got over it quickly. Just in case I had the chance to actually meet her, I brought my copy of the O magazine with her on the cover. I so wanted her to sign it for me. Oh well, I'm just happy that I got to be there and be in the same air space as those fabulous females!!
I feel another wave coming over me. A positive reinforcement that I did feel but somehow let it slip through my fingers. I'm about to do another detox. The same one I did a few months ago. I felt so great after that week of doing the cleanse. Both physically and mentally, I could feel all the toxins slough off of me. That is what I am needing now. I want to cleanse myself of all the toxic and negative crap that has built back up inside me over this last little while. I can feel it happening already. It's not about how many times you feel like you have failed at something. More importantly, it's how many time you pick yourself back up and move on. Try it again. Try something different. It's all doable. After all, I don't want easy, I just want possible!
Try to surround yourself with good happy and positive people. It does a mind and body good!!
thanks for tuning in.
Misty
xo
The speakers were phenomenal!!! The MC of the day was Jessica Holmes who is absolutely filled with such an awesome comedic gift you can't help but laugh! She did impressions of Celine Dion and a Polish singing/rapper woman. She is from the Royal Canadian Air Farce. She is fabulous!!!
The first speaker of the day was Leigh Anne Tuohy. You know who she is. She is the woman Sandra Bullock played in the Blind Side. Her message to us was about giving back, and when you see a child or youth walking down the street, stop and help. He may be another Micheal Orr. Or she may be the person who grows up and finds a cure for cancer. You just never know. Don;t turn a blind eye to someone in need, It only takes a minute to extend out a hand to help them. She told us the Starfish story. About a grandpa walking down the beach with his young grandson. They notice the beach was filled with starfish that washed ashore. They would all surely die. The young boy rushes to them and begins to toss them one by one back into the ocean. The grandfather goes up to the boy and tells him to forget about it. He can't save them all. They have to go. With a starfish in his hand, the little boy looks up at his grandfather, looks at the starfish in his hand and with all his might, throws it as far as he could into the ocean. He said "I saved that one". Leigh Anne said that the power of one is strong. Turn around sometimes because you'd be amazed at the view from behind. What a great lady. My heart felt blessed to have had the chance to hear her speak.
The next speaker was Lorette LeRoche. HILARIOUS!!!!! I have heard her speak before so I already knew what I was in for! She is a stress management pro and speaks of just being happy. Be intent on being happy and when someone bogs you down with their own crap, look them in the eye and tell them to SHUT THE HELL UP!! I learned from her to wake up with gratitude. Loretta says when you wake up in the morning proudly and happily say I'm Back!! Thanks to her, I want to become the fun I am seeking! I felt such a sense of relaxation when she was speaking. I felt myself let go. I felt the tension in my muscles that I had been carrying around for the last few weeks release and I felt wonderful!! To breath in and out and feel refreshed and alive was something that I really and truly needed. I thought to myself, sitting their next to one of my good friends, that this was a place that both her and I needed to be. Talk about right place at the right time!
We also heard from Michelle Dunk and Jill Bolte-Taylor. Both women had jaw dropping stories and proved that they truly did have the Power of a Woman!!
We also heard from Amilya Antonetti. At first I wasn't sure what to think but what I took from her the most was the Power of NO and the fact that I lived my life in 'IF' mode quite often!! I know we have all done it. Said to yourselves If I had a different job I'd be happier. If I made more money I'd be better off. If I lost weight I would feel good about myself. Saying IF to myself all these years had just become second nature. The time for change is now and If just can't be in my vocabulary any longer. I'm sure it'll slip in every now and then but I will focus on being more conscious of what I'm telling myself. IF can't make me happy. Doing and Actions are going to make me happy.
We also were privileged enough to have Suzanne Somers and ELLEN!!! They were both great. Suzanne spoke of aging beautifully and how to get there. She is a gorgeous woman. It was cool to see Crissy from Three's Company!!
Ellen's time on stage was a Q and A. I'm not sure who it was who was asking her the questions but it was awesome to hear her speak about where she came from and her journey on coming out. You can tell that she has an absolute loving and giving heart. She cares so much and it's obvious by anyone who listens to her speak. I was a little disappointed that she didn't dance but that's alright I got over it quickly. Just in case I had the chance to actually meet her, I brought my copy of the O magazine with her on the cover. I so wanted her to sign it for me. Oh well, I'm just happy that I got to be there and be in the same air space as those fabulous females!!
I feel another wave coming over me. A positive reinforcement that I did feel but somehow let it slip through my fingers. I'm about to do another detox. The same one I did a few months ago. I felt so great after that week of doing the cleanse. Both physically and mentally, I could feel all the toxins slough off of me. That is what I am needing now. I want to cleanse myself of all the toxic and negative crap that has built back up inside me over this last little while. I can feel it happening already. It's not about how many times you feel like you have failed at something. More importantly, it's how many time you pick yourself back up and move on. Try it again. Try something different. It's all doable. After all, I don't want easy, I just want possible!
Try to surround yourself with good happy and positive people. It does a mind and body good!!
thanks for tuning in.
Misty
xo
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Times A Changin'
I'm learning. Lately, I feel like I'm learning something new almost every day about myself. Recently, I've learnt that my wants and dreams are changing. Compared to the desires I had as a young adult in my early twenties just about to dip my toes into the real world, now things are completely different.
My outlook on what is right, not right....all changing. Even my own disapproval with myself is changing. Thinking that I wasn't good enough or that I just wasn't deserving of happiness enough. I think the things I am looking for to make me really and truly happy are new to me. Different.
I don't easily get deterred anymore either. If anything I feel more focused and I guess you can say more stubborn.
As a young 20 something, I had envisioned my adult life to be easy to come by. I think I just assumed that because I had some traumatic events happen to me as a child, that automatically put me in a spot where I should just have something good because I paid my dues so to speak. Even though my self esteem was shot, I really think that I expected good for me from others. What a rude awakening. I still believe beyond any measure that I am owed a wonderful and happy life but whats changed is my awareness that I have to work at getting that. Nothing is handed to you, no matter how many painful dues you've had to paid. As a matter of fact, you may have to fight even harder for what you want. And I'm ok with that now. I want to fight. I want to give it all I can and then some because in the end, all the fighting and struggling will make my victories that much sweeter!
The strength that I have within me is something to be admired. I know this. At times I don't allow myself to believe it because I am my own worst enemy, but deep down I know it's there. I can feel it. Even when I try to push it down, keep it out of sight so I don't have to try, it still reaches up and pokes me, letting me feel it's presence.
The course that I find myself on now is one of hurdles, obstacles, surprises around the bend and a sense of acceptance for myself. I can visualize all the goodness that I have within and match it to all of the happiness I know is out there waiting for me.
I'm grasping the concept that I alone make my dreams come true. I chose the paths I take, the direction I follow to get me to that place where I can one day sit back, kick my feet up and smile the smile that says 'I've made it. I'm here and it was all worth it.'
We all want that, don't we?
Keep fighting the good fight my lovelies!
Misty
xo
My outlook on what is right, not right....all changing. Even my own disapproval with myself is changing. Thinking that I wasn't good enough or that I just wasn't deserving of happiness enough. I think the things I am looking for to make me really and truly happy are new to me. Different.
I don't easily get deterred anymore either. If anything I feel more focused and I guess you can say more stubborn.
As a young 20 something, I had envisioned my adult life to be easy to come by. I think I just assumed that because I had some traumatic events happen to me as a child, that automatically put me in a spot where I should just have something good because I paid my dues so to speak. Even though my self esteem was shot, I really think that I expected good for me from others. What a rude awakening. I still believe beyond any measure that I am owed a wonderful and happy life but whats changed is my awareness that I have to work at getting that. Nothing is handed to you, no matter how many painful dues you've had to paid. As a matter of fact, you may have to fight even harder for what you want. And I'm ok with that now. I want to fight. I want to give it all I can and then some because in the end, all the fighting and struggling will make my victories that much sweeter!
The strength that I have within me is something to be admired. I know this. At times I don't allow myself to believe it because I am my own worst enemy, but deep down I know it's there. I can feel it. Even when I try to push it down, keep it out of sight so I don't have to try, it still reaches up and pokes me, letting me feel it's presence.
The course that I find myself on now is one of hurdles, obstacles, surprises around the bend and a sense of acceptance for myself. I can visualize all the goodness that I have within and match it to all of the happiness I know is out there waiting for me.
I'm grasping the concept that I alone make my dreams come true. I chose the paths I take, the direction I follow to get me to that place where I can one day sit back, kick my feet up and smile the smile that says 'I've made it. I'm here and it was all worth it.'
We all want that, don't we?
Keep fighting the good fight my lovelies!
Misty
xo
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